MY TESTIMONY

I had a foundational realization at the age of six, that Jesus was real and I should believe in him. 

Being born on the other side of the world, abandoned, and then adopted at the age of two, the words that were placed on my life were words like “fortunate,” “rescued,” “miraculous” or “blessed.” And it was true. I was taken from a dark place, and given a life I never could have had on my own. But it would be years later, after self induced heartache and unanswered suffering that I would really comprehend how wrong this world is, and how much I needed the Saving and Redemptive grace of Jesus. My teen years were a mixture of processing that I was adopted, going through physical therapy due to intense malnourishment I had as a child, and some of the basic, all American struggles a boy would encounter on his journey to manhood. When I was nine, I was introduced to pornagraphy, at thirteen I was introduced to bullying within my own Church youth group, and the journey of questioning my value, identity and worth continued to manifest through unhealthy immoral relationships all the way through college. In my sophomore year of college, after having a codependent relationship ripped out of my life, I began to seriously consider and plan to carry out a method of suicide. I was mad at the world, I had wasted many years in a  good Christian home and being loved by God fearing and committed parents, and thrown away a college scholarship on wandering through life and refusing to own up to my mistakes and struggles. By the grace of God, I told my sister, and then my entire family about where I was mentally and what I was considering. The months that followed were both painful, yet extremely freeing. After many counseling appointments, meeting with a psychiatrist, family dinners and discussions and intense prayer, the Lord showed magnificent grace and love in my life through the faithfulness of my family and close friends to not give up on me and the story God wanted me to work and walk through. 

After recommitting my life to Christ, I experienced freedom from lust, codependency, depression and questioning of my purpose in life. Since then, the journey has never been easy. The years that followed would take time to implement healthy rhythms, understand I will still fall short and still need to die to myself every single day and fall upon the reality of grace. 

At the age of 25 today, I have never been more sure of the goodness of God, and the hope that I have that my story is just beginning. Today I rest in the truth and application of 2nd Corinthians 12:9-10.

For He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may be fulfilled in me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”