I Will Choose To Remember

I have to confess to you - this season of life for me has been painful. I am convinced that depression is a complicated topic to a simple issue: a yearning for God and a felt distance from His presence. Depression is really hard to admit, to battle, and to win against. It is in depression that we are tempted the strongest to doubt the goodness of Jesus, doubt the soundness of our mind, and wonder if we will ever walk out of a dark and weary land that has encompassed our human heart and deepened the imperfection of our human condition. I do not believe depression is a black and white issue, nor that is has a black and white answer or cure. It is a result of our fallen world and our broken state. I do not believe depression is typically overcome by more belief, more repentance, or a twelve step process to conquering the imperfections of our mind. And although depression can be caused and triggered by tragic events and personal suffering, it can also strike the strongest and most joy-filled of believers in the most unexpected of moments. In some regards, the season I am walking through is what I would label as a season or valley of depression. I cannot fully explain what the roots are, or why this is happening to me. And yes, that’s hard to admit. But it’s also okay to admit. Depression does not have to dictate our victory in Jesus, it does not have to control our minds, and it does NOT have to win. But there are times in life where you can do everything right - you can be immersed in Biblical fellowship, immersed in God’s word, you can be a strong and confident believer in Christ; and still struggle with seasonal or chronic depression. Depression does not have to write the story, or tell your heart what to believe. Depression as painful as it may be, as dark as it may become, is yet another opportunity to fall helplessly back on the grace and power of God in our lives. And while professional and medical help is often a powerful instrument of God’s grace for mental health struggles, it may not always heal or cure the issue. As badly as we wish or pray it would. Sometimes depression can be taken on with full force by the power of prescribed medication and wise doctors and close family members. But sometimes, depression will simply have to take a season of your life to battle, process, work through, suffer through, and walk out of on the other side. It may just have to run its’ course, and you have just have to learn to trust God in the midst of it…Depression is not punishment from God. It is not an indicator of the depth or lack thereof of faith. It may be a medical diagnosis, and it may be a season God has asked you and given you the steadfast courage to walk through without immediate answers or treatment. Regardless of what the nature of one’s depression is, or the root causes, or how you choose to battle and address it, God remains seated high on His throne even in the darkest and most difficult moments in our mind and lives and souls. Depression is a reminder that God is God, and we are not. That our minds and hearts are created by God, and waged against by the snares and powers of a raging Enemy. I wish depression wasn’t a thing, I do. It really sucks. But as unfair as it may feel, and as hard as it may be to crack or solve, we can depend on Jesus and trust that He is committed to every intimate part of our lives - even when He feels far away. Be honest with God about the state of your heart and mind. Utilize the family members or trusted friends and medical professionals God has placed in your life to address and discuss when you are facing mental or emotional darkness and struggles. Refuse to walk alone through life, and steward every ounce of suffering God has allowed on your life with courage and a willing heart. Sometimes running the race and fighting the good fight isn’t all clear and obvious victories… Sometimes it is taking head on the realities and sorrows of this life knowing that God will supply our every need, and will never abandon those who He loves.

You are chosen. You are called. And you have placed in front of you a purpose-driven life to live. Choose to remember this, always.