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I grew up in what I consider a nearly perfect home. Raised by two parents who have remained my heroes. Love was not held back from me. I was safe. I was valued. Poured into. And Rescued. I have known more people who did not have the sacred and beautiful upbringing that I did, than people who did. And so as I share here, I want to honor the courage and grace my parents exemplified to me, from before I was conceived on the other side of the world in a dark place, to the moment they adopted me, to every day moving forward that they fought for me, and sacrificed for me. The love and goodness I was given as a child and as I became a man is one of the purest and most beautiful forms of Jesus I have and will ever know. But…brokenness. If you know me well, you know that many years of my adult life have been marked and subject to trial, learning lessons the hardest way I can, suffering, and inconsistency. This has been entirely caused by Sin. Sin that is not addressed steals joy, hurts people, and takes your life. The pain I’ve experienced the past couple of years because of Sin has been nearly unbearable, destructive, and in raw honesty, it has almost won my life. What you let feed your eyes, your ears, and your attention is what molds and shapes your soul… I’ve seen the Satan, our enemy, use physical, emotional, and mental trials to absolutely attack, hurt and break friends and family. The past year, the tool that has been lodged deeply into my life is mental and emotional brokenness. And I mean, steal your joy, damage your soul and cost you almost everything kind of brokenness. I never believed or thought I would have to work through things like crippling social anxiety or depression. All solid, professional and medical wisdom aside…this is often what happens when you make your life about you, and not about God. Our hearts are wired for affection and worship. If you choose to adjust your gaze from Jesus, you will without doubt worship and desire and submit yourself to the painful and dark and hopeless things of this world. You will give the Enemy permission to sit at the table of your heart and mind, and you will foolishly walk into some of the most miserable suffering and confusion that there is. Suffering that in my case, was avoidable. But I refuse to define myself by the record of my past that Satan has brought before me. I am not a foot soldier of the ground forces of Hell. I am a child of the Living and Righteous King in Heaven. Bought and paid for by the blood of His salvation. I am citizen of the economy of Jesus. The equation Satan would like me to believe is that Sin + Suffering = Hopelessness & Defeat. But the function and gravity of the gospel is that Jesus + His Spirit has defeated the suffering we will experience in this world and is far more powerful than the sum our failings or painful experiences. My pain does not have to steal my affection for God. And my Sin does not dictate the future and purpose God has in store for me. And so as I address the consequences of Sin and walk through the circumstances of life on earth, I will return to the ground zero of my faith. It was always the cross. Not the good works. Not the nice efforts. Not the striving, and not the chaos. The cross pumps a melody and infuses a reality that my life is far from over. My purpose is sacred. And my journey to freedom and healing may be long, imperfect and take hard work, but belonging to the grace and work of Jesus. I promise. Your life is not over. Your Sin is not too great. And your heart and mind belongs to God. And even though your life may not be marked by the biggest victories known to man…and your suffering may not subdue, joy is yours for the taking. Because it is not a feeling that comes and goes, it is a person. A King. Beautiful and radiant. Powerful and in control. Guard your mind and your heart. They are sacred and belong to the Lord. Ask for help. Share your defeat, and immerse yourself in God’s victory. Often. “Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perform it until the Day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:6 “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” - Romans 8:38-39 This is the living and active word of God.